By Gary ChapmanThe author explains how different people respond positively to different kinds of love expressions : words, actions, gifts, affection, and time. We usually try to give what we want, instead of what our mate wants, which causes all sorts of misunderstandings and hurt. If we focus on our partner, and communicate in a positive way, marriages can succeed beautifully.
When written down, the love languages seem so obvious. How could this not fail? Well, it can easily fail when people are selfish, and always waiting for the other person to take the first step. Marriage is hard work. In fact, most of the negative reviews were about the simplicity of Chapman's advice, along with his spirituality. To me, this was the strength of the book.
The one problem I wondered about early on is "What if your partner doesn't want to change?", or "What if you have problems even telling your mate that you're unhappy?" Towards the end, the author has an example of a wife wanting to change, her husband being a creep, and her friends telling her to walk away. But Chapman knows that she wants to give it one last try, and creates monthly goals FOR HER to make a change in her marriage. He doesn't try to force the husband on board. That hit me hard. I can't expect my marriage to improve if I'm not willing to change myself. I really needed this wake up call, and am going to try with all my heart and soul to get on track.
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