The Lottery and Other Stories

By Shirley Jackson

Originally written in 1948, The Lottery is a perfect example of post WWII paranoia.  No one trusts anyone, nor should they, as a town is gathered for their annual lottery.

The title story is terrific. The more I read of the rest of the stories, the more bored and/or disgusted I became.  I stopped reading about halfway through, so who knows what else I missed, but I was tired of wasting my time.

How We Decide

By Jonah Lehrer

Intuition? Gut feelings? Rational thought?  How we decide depends on what we are trying to decide.  Stock picks -- do your research. Buying a house -- happiness comes from the gut, but don't forget a home inspection! Most importantly, keep your skills and awareness sharp, so that when life throws you for a loop, your brain has already trained itself to react. 

Made To Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die

By Chip Heath and Dan Heath

What makes us believe some theories and trust some people?  Urban legends, conspiracy theories, and bogus health scares have just enough truth and believability to live forever.  The Heaths explain why interesting, simple ideas have far more "stickiness" in our minds.

The Heaths believe in six key principles to make an idea unforgettable: simplicity, unexpectedness, concreteness, credibility, emotions, and stories.  These ideas are helpful to teachers, speakers, and anyone else who wants their ideas to not only be heard but remembered.

The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

By Jonathan Haidt

Haidt compares the world's beliefs and philosophies searching for common themes. He compares the way to find a successful life with controlling our inner "elephant" by becoming the in-charge "rider".  Wealth is less important to happiness than close friendships, quiet surroundings, and short commutes.

This book almost has too much to think about, since it covers childhood & parenting, positive psychology, and the author's own philosophical journey.  However, taken in small chunks, it is an informative, interesting book.

Shutter Island

By Dennis Lehane

U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels, along with his new partner, Chuck Aule, are sent to a mental institution on Shutter Island to investigate how patient managed to disappear.  Surrounded by water, guards, and barbed wire, Rachel Solando escaped from her locked cell.  Along the way, Teddy stumbles upon hints of experimental surgeries, and the supposed killer of Teddy's wife.

No spoilers here, but this is one of my favorite movies, and now one of my favorite books.  Despite knowing what was going to happen, I couldn't stop reading this book.  The movie ending is actually sadder than the book's ending, but I loved how the emotions played out.  Man, this is a good story.

Love As A Way Of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life

By Gary Chapman

Chapman carries his thoughts about love and kindness into relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers on the street.  His belief is that love conquers all -- your get what you give.

I'd like to think that love always wins, but I know that forgiveness must be worked in to the solution.  Some people will never react the way you want them to, but if you refuse to let anger and hurt take over your life, your life will be better.  Some say this is all common sense, and it is, but that doesn't mean that we all try to be kind to others.  We need to be reminded that not everyone is out to get you, or hurt you.  It's our reactions to others that make or break relationships... nothing new about that.  Most people that hurt our feelings are oblivious, and the pain is ours alone.  Once we learn to forgive & love others, life falls into place.

Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior

By Leonard Mlidinow

The author researches how our unconscious mind/thoughts shade how we feel about the world around us.  Even when we believe we are being open-minded and neutral, our mind is always processing and influencing our relationships and life choices.

This may sound like a deep and slightly confusing subject, and it is --- people don't like to think of themselves as being unconsciously prejudiced against anything.  We float through life believing that we are intelligent human beings, fully capable of making rational choices.  That's what makes this book interesting.  It proves that we are influenced by how people look and what we are told, even when we try to be impartial.

Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish

By Sue Bender

Bender, a career driven wife and mother from Berkeley, sees an Amish quilt in a store.  She is taken with its simplicity, and becomes obsessed with finding a way to live with the people that create such timeless, uncomplicated designs.  It takes some effort, and a little luck, for Bender to find an Amish family willing to take her in for a few weeks.  During that time, she learns that there's nothing wrong with living day to day, finding joy in ordinary tasks.  While some modern conveniences are creeping in to Amish society,  community spirit and joy in just "being" may be more important than recognition and notoriety.

I don't think I could be friends with a person like the author and her friends -- their whole life is built around accomplishments and self-congratulation.  For example, even though she is An Artist, she creates for recognition, not the love of the craft.  Everything has to Mean Something, and every person has to Be Somebody.  She even struggles with how to introduce herself at a party, and whether to describe herself as a therapist, an artist, etc.  After she returns home, she wants to bake bread, quilt, and be domestic, but where she lives won't allow it -- no one has time.  When she scrubs her vacation home top to bottom, a friend mocks her for becoming too submissive and homey.  Sheesh people, it's not all about you!

Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married

By Gary Chapman

Dr. Chapman takes couples through ordinary yet important matters to discuss before marriage.  Topics include dividing chores, spirituality, and handling money.  At the end of each section there are "Talking It Over" questions & suggestions to help couples discuss & problem solve.

This is a good book before marriage, but is even helpful after marriage.  Dr. Chapman even has examples from already-married couples who needed help solving issues before their marriage deteriorated completely.  This book really makes you think in far-reaching terms, not just the "but we're in love!" attitude that sometimes wipes out logic.

God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons For Life's Little Detours

By Regina Brett

When Regina Brett turned 50, the newspaper columnist decided to write about her most important 50 life lessons.  As a cancer survivor and a single mom, Brett's life has been full of challenges.  These tough times have helped her remember the gifts of gratitude, laughter, and God's love for His children.

Although Brett doesn't say a lot that's new, she does say it in a refreshing, thoughtful way.  Then again, as always, people need to be reminded of the basic blessings in our lives. Long Live Common Sense!

Why Him? Why Her? Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type

By Helen Fisher

Why do we fall in love with certain people?  Why do we stay in love? What drives others away?  Our personality, along with our mate's personality, can determine how & why we are attracted to each other.

Fisher seems to be a very thorough and intelligent person.  She is an anthropologist, not a psychologist, and therefore takes a scientific view of relationships.  However, she says nothing new.  She even admits that her personality test is a modification of the Myers Briggs Test first created in the early 1960's... all she did was change the names to Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator.

In the end, this just seemed like a Match.com ad, especially since they hired her to come up with a compatibility test.  Right there, I lost a little respect for the formula.  If Fisher had included more real life examples, it would have been more interesting.  Instead,  the book rehashes the same traits over & over.  Okay, we get it -- Explorers should stay clear of other Explorers, because someone has to stay home.  Negotiators should be wary of Directors, because they might lose their fun-loving spirit.  At the same time, Fisher never discourages any match... anyone can fall in love!  Then what's the point in reading this book?

The Child Buyer

By John Hersey

Businessman Wissey Jones comes to town with one aim in mind; to buy ten-year-old Barry Rudd, take him away, and use Barry's remarkable intelligence for the greater good.  The story is written as a senatorial transcript, interviewing the people involved in Barry's life.

I have read other books by Hersey and loved them, but the transcript writing style really hampered the characters.  No action could take place, just testimonies.  Plus, a story about how many people sell their souls for material goods and ambition repulsed me.  I have to admit I finished reading at least 5 other books while trying to slog through this one.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

By Gary Chapman

The author explains how different people respond positively to different kinds of love expressions : words, actions, gifts, affection, and time.  We usually try to give what we want, instead of what our mate wants, which causes all sorts of misunderstandings and hurt.  If we focus on our partner, and communicate in a positive way, marriages can succeed beautifully.

When written down, the love languages seem so obvious.  How could this not fail?  Well, it can easily fail when people are selfish, and always waiting for the other person to take the first step.  Marriage is hard work.  In fact, most of the negative reviews were about the simplicity of Chapman's advice, along with his spirituality.  To me, this was the strength of the book.

The one problem I wondered about early on is "What if your partner doesn't want to change?",  or "What if you have problems even telling your mate that you're unhappy?"  Towards the end, the author has an example of a wife wanting to change, her husband being a creep, and her friends telling her to walk away.  But Chapman knows that she wants to give it one last try, and creates monthly goals FOR HER to make a change in her marriage.  He doesn't try to force the husband on board.  That hit me hard.  I can't expect my marriage to improve if I'm not willing to change myself.  I really needed this wake up call, and am going to try with all my heart and soul to get on track.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking

By Susan Cain

How did society change from valuing integrity & courage to rewarding brashness & self-promotion?  This book researches how organizations like Harvard Business School encourage extroversion at the expense of quiet, rational thought.  The author also explains why "cult of the personality" megachurches, and self help gurus are taking over society.

One third of the population is made up of introverts, so why don't schools and jobs allow for solitary individualism?  Mostly, it's easier for teachers to use group projects to teach, and it's cheaper to have employees brainstorm  and work collectively, but most of the time the loudest are not the smartest.  Plus, while there's nothing wrong with confidence, it's not a comfortable fit for everyone.

The book also explains how to "fake" extroversion in order to deal with life.  Having spent my life doing just that, I was happy to know I'm not the only one pretending that I am upbeat and comfortable in new situations.

There's No Place Like Here

By Ceclia Ahern

Sandy Shortt's obsession began over 20 years ago, when a classmate went missing.  Ever since, Sandy feels a compulsion to seek out lost things, whether it is a missing sock, a stuffed animal, or her toothbrush.  It's no surprise that she has built her life around solving missing persons' cases, trying to find that missing part of her own life.  Her parents don't understand, and her only friends are those she has tried to help. 

Jack Ruttle is Sandy's latest client.  When she disappears the day they are set to meet, Jack is the only one worried.  Everyone tells him that Sandy disappears for days when she feels too attached or overwhelmed.  But Jack feels that Sandy might be the only person that can help him find his brother, Donal, who has been missing for over a year. 

Meanwhile, Sandy has found herself in another place - one that she cannot escape.  Here she meets some of her "lost" people, along with some of her missing possessions.  Can there really be a place where lost things go?

This story seemed to be a different take on The Wizard of Oz, except that Sandy didn't exactly yearn for home in the beginning.  She was relieved to finally find out where things end up.  I liked Jack - he felt guilty about not caring enough for Donal when he was around, and felt obligated to know what happened to him, even though his family felt he needed to let go.  It was two stories in one, which due to my own short attention span, was perfect.

Self Esteem: The Essence of You

by Ida Greene

Supposedly, this book helps you look into your core beliefs and how to boost your self-esteem.  Unfortunately, it was rambling, oddly organized, and mostly talked about spiritual enlightenment.  It also threw in a chapter about controlling anger & communicating more effectively.  Weird book!

A First Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness

by S. Nassir Ghaemi

The author explores several leaders throughout modern history, using the link between mood disorders and ability to govern during a crisis.  Leaders include Lincoln, Churchill, Gandhi, JFK, & Hitler.  The book attempts to discover possible issues, like bipolar disorder, and whether these leaders' supposed mental problems helped them to more effectively make crucial decisions.

What could have been an interesting topic quickly dissolves. Nassir obviously worships JFK so there's no way he can be objective.  He glosses over Kennedy's affairs like they were just side effects from steroid & testosterone shots --- give me a break. Plus, to say that Nixon was not mentally ill, just an egotistical decision maker is pretty silly compared to the stretches he takes to prove that Lincoln was naturally depressed (forget about his sons dying & his wife being certifiable)!  Hitler wasn't mad, he was just medicated too much!  Truman was "normal", World War Two was basically over when he took office, so thank heavens he never had to deal with a crisis (never-mind those pesky nuclear bombings)! Blech

Introducing Positive Psychology: A Practical Guide

By Bridget Grenville-Cleave

How to identify your positive character strengths, change your mindset, boost your positive emotions, and become more resilient.

This book is written for people that just need a little boost psychologically, not for people that are depressed and need more than a self-help manual.  But maybe that's just because, like me, they read this book full of hope at the beginning, and then lack of self-esteem and drive take over.  Meh

Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us

By Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman

Why do sirens, fingernails on a blackboard, and one-sided cell phone conversations annoy us so much?  Is there a way to ignore or avoid these distractions?  This book attempts to discover why we have such physical reactions to common annoyances.

The reviews I read stated that this book was mostly just anecdotes strung together, but I disagree.  There are common threads to what annoys us and why.  The most obvious trait is that some people have a predisposition for being annoyed.  They are hypersensitive, so things like trash talking gets under their skin easily.  Let the headbutts ensue.  The one story I found hilarious was Rahm Emanuel purposely cracking his fingers to annoy President Obama during a high-level meeting.  What a fine example of respecting your boss, let alone the POTUS. Gimme a break.

The Power of Habit

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

From Michael Phelps' winning swim strategy, to Proctor & Gamble determining how to best sell Febreeze, Duhigg explores how our automatic habits shape outcomes. 

The book starts out strong, with a woman who transformed her messy life when she stopped smoking.  The woman goes on to running marathons, finding success in her job, and actually changing the neurological patterns in her brain.  Unfortunately, by the end he lost me.  When the author began to tout all the accomplishments of the Obama administration, and how fabulous the Saddleback Church is because they founded their religion on what people wanted or didn't want, I felt I was being indoctrinated into what I should think is good and right. Although I was intrigued by the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. was basically peer pressured into standing behind Rosa Parks. 

However, at the end I wish he would have included guidelines for how to change or improve your own habits.  It would have been a little more helpful than just an anecdote collection.